


Say something

by MamaMcCallMe



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1800232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaMcCallMe/pseuds/MamaMcCallMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"With quiet steps, she walked over to the door, peeking out of the window next to it, to see who was there. But who she saw there, was something she had never expected to happen. Without further hesitation, the Russian opened the door, but instead of saying something, she found herself staring at the man standing in front of her, with his messy hair, covered in dirt and a blank expression on his face. "James… What are you doing here?" She didn't even bother asking how he found her, since he was the Winter Soldier after all, he was able to find anyone, if he wanted to, or well, had the orders to do so. "</p><p>Natasha hadn't seen Bucky since the battle in D.C., when he's standing in front of her door, all of a sudden, still not remembering much from his past. And since then, she's kind of taking care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say something

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PrinceofBadassery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceofBadassery/gifts).



> This is a crossover of the movie verse and the comic verse.
> 
> English is not my first language, so I apologize, if I should've made any mistakes.

It's been three months now, since Natasha had seen the Winter Soldier for the last time. Steve wasn't the only one who was hurting, because James couldn't remember him, it was at least just as awful for her, since they had shared a past in Russia. She was actually sure that she would be able to find him, if she wanted to and concentrated enough. He had trained her, everything she was and knew, was his knowledge. Natasha knew where he would go to hide, what he would do, so no one recognized him, but she thought that it was probably better to not go looking for him. If he would remember anything, he would know what to do and where to go, that she was sure of.  
Something she still needed to get used to, was the fact that she was a freelancer now, since SHIELD didn't exist anymore. Normally she would already be studying files for a new mission, thinking of a way to get whatever they had to get, as fast and effectively as possible. But after she had worked on new covers for herself and moved into a rather quiet neighborhood, to keep a low profile, it was nearly getting boring. Of course there were still the Avengers and she did meet up with her teammates, but there was barely a minute, where she didn't think about James, where he could be, if he was alright and how much he remembered by now, which was something she and Steve had in common, though they never talked about it. 

Natasha was sitting on her couch, just lazily switching through the TV channels, hoping to find something that wasn't as boring as everything else, that was on. But as soon as she heard a knock on her door, she began to frown, looking over at the clock to check the time. It was definitely none of her neighbors, that came over at that time. Well, her neighbors barely ever came over to her, which she was thankful for. But that also meant, that it had to be someone else, maybe even someone she didn't know, since no one from the team had told her, he would come over. And even Clint was telling her, when he planned on visiting her, after she had pointed a gun at him, when he had tried to surprise her once.  
With quiet steps, she walked over to the door, peeking out of the window next to it, to see who was there. But who she saw there, was something she had never expected to happen. Without further hesitation, the Russian opened the door, but instead of saying something, she found herself staring at the man standing in front of her, with his messy hair, covered in dirt and a blank expression on his face. "James… What are you doing here?" She didn't even bother asking how he found her, since he was the Winter Soldier after all, he was able to find anyone, if he wanted to, or well, had the orders to do so.  
James wasn't answering her, which was a little worrying to her, but she still stepped aside, to let him in. "Come on…", she murmured, always glancing around, to make sure that no one had seen him. It surprised her a little bit, that he was stepping inside, without hesitation, but he was staying quiet nevertheless. When Natasha had closed the door, she immediately turned around to eye the long lost assassin, her lips were pressed into a thin line. Why did he come to her place? And what interested her the most; why wasn't he trying to kill her, like he had done in D.C.? Anyway, she was actually glad to see that he was alive, though he looked really horrible, in his ripped clothes. A sigh escaped her lips, as she made her way over to the bathroom, to get a towel for him, but James was not moving from where he was standing, only gazing after her. "Okay, I get that you probably won't talk to me for a while, but you should really take a shower. I'm gonna see if I still have some clothes here, that could fit you. And I really hope that you're gonna explain to me why you're here, some time." She didn't expect to get an answer from him, but at least he nodded, as he took the towel from her and slowly went into the bathroom. When she recognized, that he didn't make a move to close the door, she quickly did it herself, to give him more privacy.  
Even if she was looking for some of Clint's clothes, he left at her place, in case he decided to see her, before he went home, after a mission, she was still lost in her thoughts and also pretty much confused about the situation. There was the brainwashed James Barnes, or well, the James Barnes that was recovering from all the brainwashing, and he was like a… lost, confused and hurt puppy. In all the years she had been with him, she had never seen him like that before. Still there was that little voice inside her, that told her to be careful, because he could still be there to kill her, that it was all just a trick to make her let her guards down. But even if the man in her bathroom wasn't the man she knew, she did trust him. Quietly, nearly unnoticeable, she opened the door a little bit, to be able to put the clothes for him on the sink, then she went into the kitchen to see if she had some food for him, but she couldn't make more than some sandwiches. She had just put the plate on the table, when James paddled into the kitchen to join her. His hair was still wet and a few strand were in his face, but he did look a lot better already. "I thought you're probably hungry", Natasha offered with a smile, as she leaned against the kitchen counter and just watched him attentively. He looked from her to the sandwiches and back again, before he finally decided to sit down and began to eat. Well, it wasn't really eating, it was more like gobbling the food. Natasha quickly put some beer in front of him, which he grabbed before she was even able to let go of it, which caused their fingers to touch. Both weren't moving for a moment, just looking at one another, until Bucky swallowed his last bite and for a second, there was the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Thanks, Natalia…"  
Those were the first words she had heard from him and it was nearly shocking to have him call her by her real name. He and Logan had always been the only ones to call her Natalia, so he seemed to remember at least some things, tiny parts of his past with her… 

"You remember me?", she asked, maybe a little bit too hopeful, since he could always just remember that she got called Natasha, and that was the English version of Natalia.  
James remained quiet for another couple minutes, gulping down the beer in the meantime, until he looked up at the redhead, with a slight shrug. "It's all a blur… I can't even explain why I'm here. I just…", he drifted off and his expression got blank again.  
It was difficult for her to resist the urge to just walk up to him and hug him. But at that point, she didn't know how he'd react, if he would see her movement as a threat and snap her neck in one swift movement. So she decided to stay where she was and instead bury her hands in her pockets, to keep control over herself and not do anything she'd regret in the end. "You just what?" It surprised herself how calm and also soft her voice was, but it was probably the right thing to do, since James seemed to be really confused, after all he had been through.  
He looked as though he was reconsidering if he should really tell her why he came to her place. "I don't know why, but you were on my mind, all of a sudden and I felt like I could trust you. Like… it was the only safe place I could go to", he finally admitted, but didn't dare to look at her. Instead, he was fumbling with the bottle, scratching the label off of it.  
That action reminded her of his nervous habit. He had always done it, when they have been on an undercover mission and were waiting to finally step in. "You can trust me and you're safe, I promise. This is a quiet neighborhood and I'm sure no one would ever expect you to be here." Well, her thoughts of calling Steve to tell him that Bucky was at her place suddenly seemed to be a bad idea. When James already said that he thought he could trust her, she probably shouldn't tell Steve about his whereabouts and just wait until he was able to remember more and wanted to see Steve. Forcing him into anything he didn't want, would probably lead to him feeling betrayed and running away. That was the last thing she wanted, after she finally had him back. 

A couple days had already passed by, but most of the time, everything was the same. James barely said anything and was just staring at Natasha, which would've made her feel uncomfortable, if she wouldn't have known that concentrated look he made, as if he was trying to force himself to remember. It was actually really adorable.  
But that day something was different. When Natasha left the bedroom in the morning, to prepare breakfast for them, James was already up. And the moment he saw her, he walked over to her, arms wrapping around her and he pulled her flat against his chest. His face was buried in the crook of her neck and his flesh hand moved up to play with a strand of her. That action caught her so much off guard, which caused her to stand stock still for a while, just waiting for him to do or say anything, but when he didn't move, she carefully rested her hands on his back. Oh, if he only knew what he did to her, with only a hug like that.  
James made a quiet, grumbling noise, as he began to nuzzle her neck. "This feels familiar. You feel familiar. I also remember that smell." His voice was barely more than a whisper and he still didn't even think about letting go of her. Having Natasha so close to him, her body pressed against his, just felt right, like it was supposed to be that way. Even though he was not used to be close to someone, or touch anybody without the intention to kill them, it felt nice. After another moment, he pulled back a little, to be able to look into her eyes, as he moved his right hand up to cup her cheek in it.  
Natasha was still a little bit shocked, but the fact that he had been the one to do this step, to get closer to her, was encouraging her to softly rub his back. She probably enjoyed all of it way too much, but he finally began to let his guards down, which was a really good sign, or so she thought. Her eyes were already closed, as she leaned into his touch, smiling happily at the things he had just told her. "Maybe it's because this wasn't the first time you did it." Normally, she had been forcing herself not to say anything about their past, not wanting to make him feel like she was trying to force those memories back into his mind. But thankfully, he didn't seem to be surprised and instead smiled back at her, his one hand still resting on her cheek, as the other one was on the small of her back, to make sure she didn't move away from him. 

"That explains why it feels so familiar. Tell me about us. I want to remember what we had", he whispered, his blue eyes full of expectation, before he was already burying his face on her neck once again. But instead of staying here he was, he lifted Natasha up and carried her over to the couch, positioning her in his lap, after he sat down.

Natasha blinked a little irritated at how request, but how could she deny it, when he was looking at her like that? Sighing quietly, when he lifted her up, she wrapped her arms around his neck, thinking about what she could tell him and what he should better start remembering himself. "Well… It started when you trained me. And after a while, we started to meet secretly, since they would've sent you, or both of us away, if they would've found out. You even climbed into my bedroom through the window, because you said it was safer, than walking in through the door." It was impossible to not chuckle at that memory. He had probably been right about it and as far as she could tell, it had worked out. "It started as an affaire, but I really loved you and, as far as I can tell, you loved me, too. You always had that goofy smile, when you looked at me and we were just ourselves, when we were together, not what the Red Room wanted us to be", she told him, already a little lost in her thoughts. Even though she liked to remember the good things of her past, every moment with him, it also brought back a memory she tried to push far away. One time, when she had come back from a mission, they had frozen him again, but no one ever told her the reason for it. And from that point on, she hadn't seen him again, until HYDRA used him as a weapon. The Russian quickly shook her head to get rid of these thoughts, before she turned her head to look at James, who had that concentrated expression again. He was starring at Natasha, his lips slightly pursed.  
"Some of the things do sound familiar. And I wish I could remember everything right now. But I can't…" He tilted his head back with an exasperated sigh and buried his face in his hands. He hated the fact that he felt like a mess, that he still wasn't able to tell what was true and what was simply the work of the brainwashing, the things they implanted into his brain to turn him into the weapon they needed and pull all humanity out of him. But before he could get lost in his thoughts, he felt soft hands cupping his face and slowly opened his eyes again, just to look into the beautiful face of the Russian redhead, taking her appearance in for a moment. That soft expression in her eyes, the few freckles she had on her nose, that breathtaking smile…  
Natasha rubbed her thumbs over his cheeks, until she leaned in to press a brief kiss to the tip of his nose. "Hey… I know what it's like to recover from brainwashing. It was probably not as horrible as the ones you went through, but it'll get better, I promise. It just needs time. And I'm gonna be there for you all the time, to help you remember every little thing of your life. How does that sound?"

How could he not calm down again, when her touch, the kiss and the things she told him, with her soft voice, were just too nice and distracting? "That sounds wonderful."


End file.
